hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
