It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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