Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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