Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
