I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
