I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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