i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
