i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize