he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
