I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
We need to get me chipped asap
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
