hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize