Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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