I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
