I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
