Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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