that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
