We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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