But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
