..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
