You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
