got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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