Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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