You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
