I didn't shave. On purpose
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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