It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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