Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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