at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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