I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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