soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
