Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
