Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
