So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize