And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just cropdusted the office
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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