Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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