Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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