Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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