first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
