My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
