sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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