Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
