Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
