You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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