The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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