help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
