I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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