They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
