Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i think im in europe. pls send help
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
