8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I am naked and annoyed.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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