There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
