He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
