I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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