so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
