I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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