either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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