You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
handjob tips. give me some.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
