can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
