is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
