Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
