I'm going to jail i love you
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
