Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
