i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize