we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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