evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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