I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
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