Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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