This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ketchup is God's man juice
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
