Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
