i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
