why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
