Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
