I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
