Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
