Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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