You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
